Marriage: How to Have Healthy Money Talks

Discussing money. It's a necessary evil in marriage.  The number one reason for divorce is money fights.  Spouses don't agree on issues surrounding money.  Opinions vary on the issues of saving, spending, and debt.  It's safe to say we've all had arguments about money.  What if you knew the ingredients of a 'healthy' money talk.  Would you want to know what they are?  More importantly, would you seek to put them in action?  Below are my ingredients for healthy money talk.

• Calm Setting.  Fruitful money talks don't work in busy settings.  You need a place where you can hear each other and be free from distractions.  If you have children, this may not be achievable until you get them all to bed.  You both need a calm place to talk about money issues.
• Freedom to talk about money.  Nobody likes walking on egg shells.  Both partners need to give the other freedom to have money talks.  Issues can't be addressed unless they are discussed.
• Proper timing.  You need to be sensitive to your spouse's desire to discuss money.  There are times when it's better to 'cease talks' until a later time.  If you pick a wrong time to discuss money, it's OK to ask, "When's a better time for us to talk about this?" 
• Tone matters.  I've heard it said that in marriage it's not what is said but "how" it's said that makes the difference.  This is so true.  The wrong tone can send a conversation south in a hurry.  Raising your voice or using a condescending tone will stop a money talk on a dime.  Be careful to use the right tone. 
• Discuss goals not specifics.  You and your spouse might disagree on how much to pay toward a credit card.  However, you might both agree on 'having less debt.'  Discuss your goals.  Put them on paper.  Discuss how you're going to achieve them.  If you're clear on your goals, you can make headway with money decisions.
• Agree to disagree.  You and your spouse will not see eye to eye on all money matters.  Some topics take time and continued conversation. 
• Be responsible.  We've all made mistakes with money.  Be mature enough to admit that you blew it.  Admit your shortcoming and move on.  Better yet, make a plan to not make the mistake again. 
• Be willing to forgive. Whether you say the words "I forgive you" or not doesn't matter.  You need to extend grace to your partner when they make a money mistake.  Didn't I just say we've "all" made mistakes with money. 

What do you think of my suggestions? Do you see one that is more important than another?  Did I leave one out?  Please share a comment to add to the discussion.