Parenting Advice: Boomerang College Grad
There are bunches of college graduates returning to their parents home after graduation. The shaky job market coupled with large amounts of student loan debt make striking out on their own unrealistic. According to Monster's 2009 Annual Entry-Level job outlook, about 40% of 2008 grads still live with their parents. Parents in this predicament need options in how to get their boomerang college grad out of the house and on the road to independence. Below are some options I believe are worthy of consideration as a parent seeks to get their child out of the house.
- Job 1: Have an income. Within the first few days of moving in your child is to get a job of some sort. Being picky is not an option. Their first job is to ccreate an income.
- Charge them rent. While this may seem cruel it's very important that your child learn that things in life aren't free. Of course this doesn't happen until they have some form of income. You can charge as little as $75 a month. Here's the kicker: You save their rent in an account to help them get a stash to get their first apartment.
- Chores are required. Being an adult comes with responsibilities. It's perfectly acceptable that you work out appropriate household duties for adult child.
- Treat them as an adult. The days of curfew and tight reins are in the past. While your child is back at home, he is not the misguided adolescent from his high school days.
- Give them privacy. Living in same home can be challenging when the parties have been independent for quite some time. Work together as much as possible to allow privacy.
- Set time limit on their stay. I recommend a year or less. If your college grad hits it hard there is very little reason for them to be gone in this time frame.
- Match their savings (to a certain limit). Maybe you decide that you will match what they save up to a certain amount each month. This encourages them to save and moves them closer to getting out on their own.
- Discuss finding a roommate. Your adult college grad can better adjust to independent life by splitting the costs with a friend. This can be a good bridge to ultimate independence.
There you have my short list of suggestions. Which one makes the most sense to you? What strategy have I left out? Please comment and add to the conversation.
Then you have my husband who tells the kids, ‘for your 18th birthday you’ll find your bags packed and ready to go for you’. LOL.
Those all great points above.
Yeah…there’s a reality check. As parents we have to find some way of letting them the ‘free lunches will end.’ Thanks for stopping by.
There are alot of people who are afraid of responsibilities that come with moving out of the parent’s house. College graduates need to know that they are no longer Kids but responsibe and productive citizens.
On the other side of the coin i have had friends who stayed with their parents becaue they wanted to save up money to purchase a home and the parents thought that was a very mature decision.
Knowing how to balance the two is the KEY.
Good point. The parent has to decide (with the adult child) what is an acceptable arrangement. As long as the plan is acceptable to both parties I guess it can work.
Ken,
Great post, with many sage ideas.
My son moved out a week after his 18th birthday. He lasted a year on his own and then he came back. As part of the deal, I made him get a job, pay off all of his debts, save money and go to college. It was rocky at first, but it’s going well now.
As you said, you have to make them step up to some responsibility and not just allow them to lay around and sponge. Otherwise, you aren’t doing them any favors.
Hats off to you for being a ‘tough love’ parent. If he’s not thanking you now he’ll thank you later. Thanks for stopping by.